Sometime I am afraid. I am even afraid to blog once in a while. I don't know why but for some reason I spent a lot of my life worried what people think of me. Worried people would not like me and it truly held me back from a lot of thing. I think that if I would have let go more that more people would have l liked me and I would have experienced a lot more in life. Do I regret the the past and not being more of an outspoken person....no. Even though I wonder what could have been I enjoy what is now. I enjoy who I am today. I feel I am a good hearted person with a good head on my shoulders making wise choices. And if I made different choices growing up I probably wouldn't be where I am today.
Now being afraid to blog...thats exactly why I started to blog. To not be afraid. To openly being able to express and share personal feelings with the world. So why must I fear it. Who cares about it? This is just another human lesson I must over come.
I remember once hearing that being shy was a mental disorder. That it was an anxiety that was not out of the human norm. Well then apparently I have a huge mental disorder because I was a super shy kid growing up and if it wasn't for the help of some liquid confidence (alcohol) then I would never get around to meeting new people. Unfortunately I think the Dr. who even said this is bull shit. I dont think a little white pill can help me gain confidence without some nasty unnatural side affect. I dont feel that any pill can help change mood or emotions. And I dont feel that we should try to alter our mood on a daily habit with drugs. Yes alcohol and other social drug to alter moods in some of the same aspects as prescription drugs but I dont think you should do it every day. It good to let out once in awhile but not every day.
Feeling these emotions are what makes us human. Its what makes us feel alive. There cannot be good without the bad. There cannot be beautiful without the ugly. We cannot live in a drug induced world only feeling happy. Thats unnatural. One day after forcing the medication to keep you happy for so long the pill will wear off. And you will hit a downward spiral because with every good emotion there has to be a bad. The balance of like. And forced to be happy for so long there gonna be a shit load of bad emotions coming your way and that why i believe that even on prescription medication people still commit suicide.
Drugs wont solve the problem. Its not the answer of the cure. The cure is each other. If you have a friend going through a hard time just talk to them. Let them vent because talking about negative emotions produces a positive feeling within yourself. Its weird but yes it does work. And if you are going through a hard time dont be afraid to grab ur friend and talk about it. Its ok. they understand. They have been there too.
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